- person: what does 'jfc' stand for?
- me: JOHN FUCKING CENA
talking to straight white boys
- boy: let's play twenty questions
- me: okay, what's your favorite color?
- boy: triangle, have you had sex yet?
me: i don’t really like m&m peanuts, i think they’re overrated
eminem fan appears literally out of nowhere: you just dont get it man, there’s two sides to him, yes he raps about killing women and violently abusing them some times but thats just slim shady. his alter ego! its not really him. other times, he raps about his daugther and how much he loves her. you dont get it… u dont understand, you’re just judging him based on his extremely violent and disturbing lyrics. he’s actually a good guy and you’re a judgemental prick!!!!!!
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
(Source: weallheartonedirection, via officialwhitegirls)
(Source: dailyhangover, via encourage)
- Other ppl my age: I'm on my 2nd prime minister baccalaureate ecclesiastical Greek mythology 2.0 egg sandwich college program
- Me: I didn't die yet ??
“blush” is just blood and rush together
an erection is when blood rushes to the penis
so basically penises blush
Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer
Me:
(via the-absolute-best-posts)
(Source: memewhore)
The game “Kiss, Kill, or Marry” could also conceivably be called “Fork, Knife, or Spoon”
(Source: memewhore)
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
(Source: girlkisser, via tyleroakley)